The Marketing Malt 2008, DeDr, 57.1 %, 17 yrs, WB300137

The story of decadence, part II: How to become homeless and a beggar. Despite all the predicaments that come with it, I bought this bottle after PayPal approved it. I expect the electricity to be shut down any time now. Recently, I came across a new Korean series called 'Teach You a Lesson'. It's very intriguing and I found it very emotionally affecting. Although the way in which the problems of pupils at school, problematic teachers and difficult parents are dealt with is debatable, there are some lessons to be learned: When reviewing whisky, one should never be afraid of the brand, distillery, fellow reviewers or YouTube influencers when it comes to nosing, tasting and giving a verdict. You must never accept samples, free bottles or any other kind of bribe. That being said, I was going to dismiss this one because of its low ABV, dark colour and perhaps the brand and bottler. Does this whisky teach me a lesson? Yes, it certainly does!

Nose: Wow! Rich, deep and intense sweetness. Freshly baked cake, mainly chocolate and fudge, as well as vanilla custard, dates and cacao. Baked apples, oriental sweets, dates and dried figs, with hints of Demerara and muscovado sugar, old rum and dried prunes.

Palate: The lesson begins with a nice, sweet, friendly welcome. We're checking homework and getting a bit strict here; we're now discussing the mathematical problem and things are getting complex and demanding. But there is no need to fear; this drink provides the necessary support to help you reach your goal. Sweet and bitter notes accompany you: dark chocolate, dark coffee and brownies.

Finish: The lesson is almost over, but it's taking a long time. There is no exit strategy; the burnt caramel lingers too long and prevents you from taking a break. 'Lessons in life will be repeated until they are learned.'― Frank Sonnenberg

92/90/90

Campbeltown Blended Malt 08-year-old, DeDr, 53 %, Little Decadent Star, WB300097

This conspiratorial collaboration can’t really be that secret, and there aren’t that many distilleries in Campletown anyway. Let’s have an educated guess.

Nose: Malt, sweet, fresh brioche, marzipan, yellow fruits – perhaps even a ripe, mushy yellow pear – a hint of banana, coconut and lychee. Haven’t done my homework yet, my tax return’s waiting, haven’t taken the rubbish out, haven’t phoned Mum, and my World Cup predictions are way off the mark. None of it matters – it’s summer, so the to-do list can wait.

Palate: Stormy heat, thunderstorms, lightning and thunder on the tongue. Bitter orange, bitter almond, bitter melon, unripe apples, a hint of ginger and pepper. Orange peel.

Finish: Oily, long, warming, but also slightly burning. A hint of chilli. If I had to guess, I’d say Kilkerran with hints of smoky Glen Scotia and a touch of Springbank, but I’m rubbish at guessing. “I’ll always keep you guessing. I’m living up to the name. It’s powerful. That’s just what I do.” – Future.

88/85/86