Bunnahabhain, 2005, 2026, First Fill Canasta Sherry, 53.8 %, 20 yrs, WB303215

The last chapter of 'Story of Decadence'. I didn’t become a beggar; I found a new way to make money by selling organs. Did you know that a kidney can fetch anything from US$50,000 to US$120,000 on the black market? But I'm not an idiot; instead of buying the new Glengarioch 52 Year Old DeDr, I bought two of this bottling. Did you see the commercial for that Glengarioch bottle? I was so jealous, but then I realised that this cask was in unbelievable condition. I didn't expect a 52-year-old butt to be in such good condition — I thought it would be more damaged and leaky. There were only 240 bottles, but with an ABV of 53.2% – how is this possible? A standard sherry butt holds between 475 and 500 litres of liquid, which theoretically yields 678 to 714 0.7-litre bottles (70cl). So more than 50% has vanished, yet you still have this incredible ABV. Also, the unscientific amount of angel's share is said to be 1–2% of the total liquid volume per year in cool climates like Scotland's. The ABV must therefore slowly decrease.

I confronted the tour guide at the Cairn distillery with this calculation regarding the very old GM bottlings and asked how GM manages to bottle such old whisky. He replied that GM matures the whisky in different types of barrel, including storage and supply barrels. He explained that these barrels were denser, thicker and more solid than standard whisky barrels or butts. This meant that the loss by the angel's share was very small. I know I am very bad at guessing and judging, so I will leave it at that. The Glengarioch is beyond my reach anyway. However, the Bunnahabhain paralysed me when I read 'Canasta', those very aromatic, sweet sherries. Words like 'Canasta', 'Palo Cortado', 'PX', 'Oloroso', 'Amontillado' and 'Manzanilla' trigger an instinctive search for ways to buy this bottle, so I promised a Russian oligarch my left kidney and pulled the trigger (jklol).

Nose: Fresh Coriander, dried juniper, very sulphury sultanas or those dried sulphured apricots. Fireworks and devilish bathing in hot volcanic pools. In the background, you can smell rum raisins, milk chocolate, fudge, sticky toffee, Christmas cake, rum-soaked muscovado sugar and lavender.

Palate: Unfortunately, there is yet another South American soap opera telenovela with endless seasons. Coriander dominates the palate, along with dried juniper, cardamom bitten, lavender and various herbs and spices that taste of soap and perfume. There is also orange zest and candied orange and lemon peel, as found in some Christmas cakes. Many people like these sulphury aromas and even long for them. I don't. For me, it is definitely an off note.

Finish: Unfortunately, it is long and sharp. The sweetness lingers, though, as does a lot of coriander. My expectations were high, but Bunnahabhain keeps disappointing me. Of course, this is just my personal opinion. But, as a great man or woman once said, 'Disappointments are not meant to destroy you. They are meant to strengthen you and make you resilient.' But I am still triggered by the above sherry words and keep making the same mistakes until I donate my brain.

87/84/86